Election in Canada is coming soon

It was yet another cool day out, and I stayed inside. The election campaign is "heating up" as "they" say though, so I'm sure the news won't be boring at least. Oh wait, it will be. We did the same thing just 15 months ago in June 2004. Here're my 2006 election predictions:

* Harper will say the Liberals are corrupt and hate marriage.
* Martin will say the Conservatives are scary and hate gays.
* Layton will say, "What about health care?"
* Duceppe will say, "What about Quebec?"
* And the Canadian public will say, "Who's Jim Harris? You mean there are 308 Green Party candidates? There are that many Green Party members in Canada?!"

And on January 24th, the Tuesday after the Monday election, we'll all be saying, "Why in the H. E. Double Hockey Sticks. did we just spend $400 Million on an election to get another Liberal minority government with fewer NDP seats, no Green seats, a lot more Bloc seats, and just enough Conservative seats to send Harper out to pasture to use his spiffy new cowboy hat?" So put away about $12 for each person in your household, because that's how much you're paying for this exercise in democracy. Merry Canvassing everyone, and a Happy New Government!

I'd like to see fewer Liberal seats, more NDP and Green seats, and more Conservative seats in Quebec and Ontario. The chances of this actually happening is what Santa is for. If anyone can bring a miracle, it's Santa. All I want for Christmas is a new democracy; one that doesn't break the day after it comes out of the ballot box. And one that isn't hogged by Ontario and Quebec; they'll let other provinces play with it. One that protects the privacy of Canadians, and upholds the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. At least with a minority government, we can send the toy back to the makers if it breaks before its five year warranty expires. But, you know what a pain it is to get something fixed when it breaks; you have to send it away to Calgary or Oshawa after finding just the right sized box to pack it, and that's when you noticed the product was made in China. Wait. This analogy is over.